iliyon

give me something to believe in
Tamara, twenty-four, french girl.
Maybe your sin is loving too much.

Je suis Charlie

frenchmystake:

9 years ago  ·   26 notes
7,180
9 years ago
9 years ago  ·   7,180 notes
37,794
9 years ago
9 years ago  ·   37,794 notes
4,825
9 years ago
9 years ago  ·   4,825 notes
605
9 years ago
9 years ago  ·   605 notes
765
9 years ago
9 years ago  ·   765 notes
591,723
9 years ago
9 years ago  ·   591,723 notes

polople:

*complains about being tired* * doesn’t sleep until 3am*

9 years ago  ·   560,047 notes
13,759
9 years ago
9 years ago  ·   13,759 notes
I'm actually right on the cusp of shipping Bamon but what I'm worried about is that the happiness Damon has/had with Elena, will never be able to compare with anything he might have with Bonnie. Can you tell me your thoughts on this?
profounddelena-deactivated20150

mercurysmoonchild:

Hi there! So first off, thank you for asking so nicely because as everyone knows, I don’t mind answering Bamon questions at all when people aren’t rude about it, which you certainly weren’t. I also haven’t written a Bamon meta in a while, so if this turns into a ten page answer, please forgive me haha.

Now, onto my thoughts-

1. Yes, I absolutely think that Damon can (and eventually will) find happiness one day that can not only compare to what he’s believed he’s had with Elena but even surpass. But not until he finds his own inner peace. And IMO, Bonnie has been the biggest positive influence on Damon’s peace by not forcing him to redeem himself for HER but for himself. Bonnie has inspired a change/growth in a normally very volatile Damon and with the way I personally see it, no one person can ever TRULY be happy with somebody else until they are happy with themselves. So, while I don’t think what Damon has had with Elena isn’t necessarily REAL, I don’t think it’s the be-all, end-all in his personal journey. I think as a person, he has WAYS to go before he can truly be completely happy without inhibition, and despite what he thinks or says I don’t think he’s gotten there yet. And he won’t, until he actually sees some value within himself that goes beyond being loved by a woman, because it has made his confidence and well-being completely dependent on that alone.

2. The One Special Girl Trope and Why It Needs To Be Killed With Fire: I’ve written metas upon metas about this in the past, so I’ll try my best to be concise about- I don’t believe in the idea that you can only ever truly love ONE person in your lifetime. I don’t believe in the idea that once you love ONE person passionately that it’s the end for you; that this is the ONLY person you can fall deeply for or the only one you’ll ever have such a great sense of fulfillment with. And I think television shows (especially TVD) places WAY too much of an emphasis on this trope—that you’re supposed to meet and fall in love with this one person at almost grandiose levels, that you can NEVER see yourself with anyone else if the time changes and YOU change. This is just supposed to be it, and you’re supposed to keep fighting for this ONE over exaggerated and incompatible love because that’s apparently what love is—being with the one person who has been spelled out in a 1000 ways as wrong for you, but you can’t move on because they are supposed to be “The One.” I don’t believe in that at all.  For me, personally, just because you loved one person very passionately doesn’t mean you can’t love another. Just because someone was supposed to be your “only love” doesn’t mean that they actually will be. As we change, so do the things that we want and definitely the things that we need, too. With Damon, I see this. I see him as someone who’s arguably believed that all he is and all he has done has been for this ONE LOVE and not only is that supremely unhealthy, but it’s unrealistic as well. Falling in love or being happy with another person eventually within his lifetime doesn’t mean he never loved Elena or that it couldn’t ever compare; it just means as beings, we aren’t one-dimensional. And Damon’s love life, IMO, is the most one-dimensional thing about him on this show because it relies on patterns and this idea by the writers that people can’t ever evolve but they do. He already has.

3. Being happy isn’t the only thing you can get out of a relationship. It’s an IMPORTANT thing (perhaps the most important) but relationships should also serve to help you become a better version of yourself; a version of yourself that you can be happy with whether you’re together or not. Being with someone shouldn’t JUST put a smile on your face but also inspire you to be better, stronger, and more true to who you are (or want to be) and these are the things that I see between Bonnie and Damon. Not necessarily Damon and Elena. Damon is my favorite version of himself around Bonnie (and vice versa) and as a Damon stan, I DON’T support him getting what he wants but what he NEEDS. I can’t justify his “development” and “changes” all in the name of “love” because that’s not real to me and it’s precisely the reason why he’s been doing this song and dance for six seasons, or why so many people still can’t buy into him now maturing; because it’s almost always been for happiness with Elena but the minute he doesn’t get what he wants and things don’t go his way, he snaps. And that’s unhealthy. Love isn’t this tragic, co-dependent, raging ANGER that Damon seems to have inside of him whenever Elena makes him mad— and as someone who genuinely cares about this character, I can’t wait for him to learn that. Sadly? I don’t think it will ever be with Elena because it is always ABOUT Elena, to him. I don’t want Damon to change but to grow for HIMSELF (and/or his brother), and he NEEDS a relationship that GUIDES him that way and since coming out of 1994 with Bonnie, we’ve seen honest steps towards that and towards Damon wanting something for him without it being for Elena. While I don’t think Bonnie can fix him (and it shouldn’t be her job to) I do think that she positively inspires him. And to me, that’s what love is—being with someone who doesn’t CHANGE you but helps you to see the good that is already inside of you and leaves the ball in your court as to whether you are brave enough to let that out. With Damon I see someone who’s very stuck in the mindset of “this is who I am and I can’t fix that” but being with Bonnie—and receiving the hope and sacrifice he got from her—has slowly changed his perspective. He recognizes what she gave up for him; he sees that he has a second chance, and as a result, he’s trying. And ngl, I’m the proudest of him right now than I have been in like five seasons of this show. Because however small it may be, he sees something within himself worth fighting for, because challenged him and I absolutely love that.

4. Lastly, as much as I love and stan Damon above everyone else, shipping Bamon for me isn’t just about HIM reaping the benefits, but Bonnie, as well. As we have already seen with the 1994 verse, Damon brought so much more in her than we have gotten see for so long on this show—her fire, passion, and wants, even though she ultimately sacrifices her life to save him (which I hope is something they address). Bonnie, after so many seasons of being silenced by the narrative, got to be witty and sassy and DEMANDING and while I know it definitely has a lot to do with giving her more of a focus, it had to do with Damon, too. Because I just don’t see Bonnie being the way that she was there with anyone else, but him. There’s something about Damon and his personality that kicks her into overdrive—even Kai made note of it to say she “always comes back” to him, and his life was enough to help her regain her powers. Because of how much she cares about him (without even realizing it sometimes) she continues to develop as a person and that arc is beautiful to me. This is someone that she’s hated since just about day one and here we are seasons later, and he was the one person she could rely on? And someone who can make her smile? They definitely come a long way and I think it’s only right for the show to continue to pursue where it could/might go. I don’t think we’ll ever know or get to see the full extent of Damon or Bonnie loving anyone else until they TRY to so I don’t think it’s something you can write off yet as impossible if it hasn’t been given a chance to happen. You don’t always have to be someone’s “only” love—being their “last love” I think is quite nice as well.

I hope this somewhat answered your question! :)

9 years ago  ·   109 notes
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5